Keep it Moving

Freaking out in a great way right now.
It’s the little things, like realizing your bathroom will have heat in the winter, or has outlets near the sink. That there’s a real yard. A washer, dryer, dishwasher. That I can actually comfortably fit all of my furniture in my room for the first time ever. That I can have the sprawling multi-desk setup I’ve wanted for awhile. That there’s a tv. And a porch. Friendly roommates who are into the same kinds of shows and music and games. I came home last night to them watching FMA and they gave me some of their Oreo pie/cheesecake. BEST FIRST NIGHT.

I thought I’d miss having a place of my own, but this…. Is awesome. On a nuts and bolts level, I’m getting to live in an awesome place because we can all pool resources- I’m saving $236 a month for a NICE HOUSE- but on a touchy-feely level, this place feels like a home. I’m not going to feel lonely because these guys want to do things as a group- and even if they’re not free, there’s rabbitsss.

Sorry I’ve been so doom and gloom. I was worried I was taking a step back, but this is a huge step forward.

Mom will sometimes post old pictures of us all on facebook, and when I’m in a funk like right now, I can’t help but think terrible things like-

"When did it go wrong?"

We all looked so genuinely happy.  I didn’t bear grudges against anyone then.  I was just a naive 8 year old kid happy to be with her daddy and sister and mom.  I didn’t understand anything about what would make me sad.  But I guess nearly two decades does that.

I know I haven’t lost what makes me a warm and happy person.  I’ve just changed a bit.  There’s ugliness too now, and I don’t want to keep wearing smiles that cover up that ugliness all the time.  It’s made me feel like a liar. 

But even if I’m not always smiling on the inside in the photos I take, I know that genuine happiness comes through eventually, even if it isn’t documented.  Even if it’s for the most fleeting of moments, I still know how to have a good time and appreciate what I have.  I won’t let go of that feeling.

I keep getting déjà vu and it’s freaking me out. I keep waking up from weird dreams even though I’m sleeping enough. I keep feeling demotivated and irrationally upset about things that don’t matter, even though now is literally the worst time for it. Brain, shut up. Just stopppppp

m2manga:

The Sailor Scout, Fantasy RPG set!

(via phobs-heh)

思い出のマーニー | When Marnie Was There {x}

(Source: nigecha, via lolitarapper)

maycontainmonkeys:

A drow fighter, from the scorpion clan.

maycontainmonkeys:

A drow fighter, from the scorpion clan.

(via hella-bara)

When people knock on the door and you’re just chilling around naked because it’s hot out. :/

sucm:

why he lick me

sucm:

why he lick me

(Source: satellitehigh, via catleesimotherofkittens)

pootslappootslap:

wait this is the city I live in I want a cat snake

CAT SNAKE

pootslappootslap:

wait this is the city I live in I want a cat snake

CAT SNAKE

(Source: themaddestdog)

baeddelbludd:

LIFE HACK: disguise your nervous breakdown as a series of jokes

(Source: autogynephile, via catleesimotherofkittens)

coelasquid:

therorasaurus:

so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself. 

image

(via getinthefuckingkaworushinji)

roachpatrol:

betteranimebetterfuture:

Mayaya and Banba from Princess Jellyfish by Sonya Mouse

brilliant

roachpatrol:

betteranimebetterfuture:

Mayaya and Banba from Princess Jellyfish by Sonya Mouse

brilliant

(via ceriene)

catleesimotherofkittens:

shmemson:

whinyspice:

gasoline-station:

Dinosaur Land in VA

by Cole Whitworth

This is only 2 hours from me. I MUST GO.

DO ITTTTY